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December 29 tired!ok at least im like so called fresh up cos i've slept bout 2 to 3 hrs juz now..n it was my mum hu woke me up as she asked me to eat..so had chicken rice wit ssweet sour prawn..juz now tot of followin aza bac to de hspital..but i felt kinda lazy tho n watsmore it was rainin..if it dint rain i mite consider goin..bt actuali it was drizzlin la..made up my mind tat i'l juz go tmr mornin..shits..n tis time was real hard lukin afta nani at nite n in de mornin..gosh onli god noes how stubborn she is..haiz..haha..but afta all shes funny la..i juz cnt stop laffin wit wadah..hurhur..n watsmore wit de malay makcik whom was opposite nani..haha..wth!..she called nani nenek..nenek tuh la nenek nie la..haha..but wateva la asal dier bahagia..
well juz now told faz tat i wont be goin to escape theme park tmr..cos its so early..its at 11 am..im sure tmr i'l like wake up kinda late due to de lack of sleep i had for de past few daes..cos i have nt yet taken any revenge..hahah..i noe its a pity to miss it..cos i've been waitin so long for dese daes to cum..n finally wen it cum im de one hu cnt make it..hmm..haiz..
guess tmr i'l go to de hspital afta i woke up..now nani had changed to ward 74..hopefully she cn be discharged in 2 daes time..
n now im tinkin of goin to de grad ceremony or nt..cos seri oso nt yet cnfirmed..hmm..c la how..felt like so lazy pun ada..hmm..
was i runnin from de truth... December 28 so sick.arggh..cnt i sleep in peace!!..haiz.. i've been so sick listenin to all dose stuffs.. fuct up..like ders no peace or wat.. haizz... im still so sleepy..n later gotta go to hspital.. pity nani.. sum of her children like dun care wanna see her or jaga her..like wtf!...n its always been de same pple hu hafta luk afta her..poor ting..haiz..
both sides are de same..its a farkin KO!!!! December 27 HaiZ.well oh well..i juz woke up..i wonda y i cnt continue sleepin..i onli slept bout 2-3 hrs..hmm..so i dint slept de whole nite..n nani was warded..so last nite me n my aunt stayed ova n accompanied her..n thank god she was fine thruout de whole nite bt except for de jerkyness is still der..but its nt tat bad like last yr..tat was reali bad..she kept wantin to get out from bed n she'l be more violent if we dint listene to her..but thank god now shes ok..but she kept forgettin tat shes in hspital..she kept askin saein..'masak air'..hehe..her daily routine tat she'l do at hm..but shes cute la..so wat i did der basically i juz listened to my mp3..am alreadi bored wit all de songs in der..i dint sit still on de chair..so at last i let my aunt use my chair to sleep..so she slept for like bout 3 hrs or so..cos i pity her..well for me..its alrite cos im young n i got much more energy den her..i kept walkin round de ward n de rm to take a look out for nani..n i scared myself for imaginin tings..cos earlier on abg mat noh was tellin us de ghost stories in hspital..hahah..but told myself juz tink positive..so its nth..de weather is kinda coolin..i wen to de 711 n bought drink n sum paus n marshed patato as to keeps me awake..hurhur..so i kept walkin in n out of de room..n i sat outside wer de vendin machine r placed..i tried closin my eyes n go to sleep for awhile..but dint manage too..so i juz sat der n listen to radio on my mp3 player..n waitin for time to pass..
i wish i was a nurse..it seems like a cool job..i reali so much wans to be a nurse..heehe..but tk dpt ah!!..heee..but tat job is no easy at all...u hafta treat diff kind of patient n undastan dier language..cn be kinda tough..well so in de mornin b4 i wen bac at 9 plus..i feed nani nasi lemak which kala had bought..n wow she ate much..b4 eatin de nasi..she oredi had ate one plate of bubur tho she complains its tawar but she still ate it..n followed by de nasi lemak n followed by a bread..heehe..guess she muz be hungry..but its gud cos she got a gud appetitie rather den sum old ladies hu cnt eat at all..hhmm..i miss my nenek so much..guess she muz be in heaven rite now..hmm..so sumtimes human bein juz dunt noe how to cherish deir motha while dey r still alive..haiz..i reali wonda y tis kind of pple still exist in this world..so inhumane...n dun in de end go on n cry like hell to ask for forgiveness..it'l be too damn late..haiz...i reali wonda wen will dey wake up!!!..i feel like knockin deir heads togetha..hmm..juz wastin my time tokin bout dose inhuman pple...
omg!!..now mum n cik leha is like fitin usin like de ketok2..tat bloody hell cik leha is so damn gila!!!..she cnt stop usin de gala n jolok..n she even wen outside her hse n bang de bamboo stick at de railin..seehow crazee she cn be..aiyoo!!..shes a gone case la..n mum cnt had alreadi loose her temper n tat y she fighted back..hahah..
haiz...der r juz too many kind of pple livin in dis world wit diff kind of attitude.hahah
well ytd b4 we proceed to de hspital..we had our lunch at new hawa seafood restaurant ..we were supposed to go hajah maimunah but it was closed..it was a treat from dad for bro's 26th birthday..wah tis yr..me sis n bro dad treat us to mkn on our birthday itself..hehe..dad is juz so kind..hmm..so we ordered all kinds..hmm..n halfwae..der was cat..haha..like usual..if i saw a cat i'l loose my appetite n focus on onli one ting..tat is see de cat..b4 it cums near me..i kept lukin at de cat..n dad was tellin me..'kucing tuh tk dtg la..dier tgh duduk diam2 kat situ'..haha..i felt like i was a kid..fancy a 17 yr old actin up like a kid..hurhur..bt cnt be help la..cos i reali got dese fear ofcat tat noe1 cud eva noe de feelin except for myself...haha..n dere was bro's gf too..hehe..kinda paisey..haha..but its ok la..she undastan..hee..
n oh yea..my hard disk cn be used..so bro had alreadi back up my file..thank goodness..thanks to bro..cos he luked out for sum soloutions..n he put de hard disk into a zip lock bag n put it into de refrigerator for bout half an hr..n awesome..it works..so cool..if bro dint find solution..proabably i've lost everitin..hehe..im so happi..i reali hafta thank him..hee for savin it..bt sorri cnt help la sumtimes we fite like cats n dogs..lol..afta tat is wat siblins r..cos we dun agree at times..heeh..coolness..
juz hope tat he'l get well soon..n his fever will decrease in time..hmm..hehe.. December 24 aaarghh..gone!!..juz like tat!!i felt so fucked up rite now!!..i cnt believe tis is happenin..evritin tats in my hard disk is gone!!..my precious pictures tat i've kept for years..since i was in sec 1..gosh..dey r gone now!!..im so sad..n all de songs too..n tis is all becos of de new 80gb hardisk..fark it..like wtf man..we juz bought it like few week ago n its alreadi givin problem..aarggh..mine computer problem is de same as pak long's one..haiz..so sad..i felt like cryin wen bro told tat evritin will be gone..n dad was like askin me wether i got back up or nt..of coz i said no..i did back up at my bro's comp..but he deleted as tat time we juz bought de new hard disk..so evritin was fine..but now i dint noe tat tis hardisk is givin problem..if nt i wud hav alreadi back up again long time ago..gosh!!!..i still cnt believe evritin is gone!!!..GONE!!!..y do tis shits hafta happen???..aarggh..well wat to do..things happen..n u cnt undone it..tats life!!..no use saein..
dad's gonna change de hardisk durin his lunch time wen he goes bac to work nxt week..cos de changin place is near to his workplace..but im hopin tat de stuffs cn be recover..but i noe its kinda impossible..so well i hafta be prepared for de worst if dey gave dad a new hard disk instead of repairin it..hmm..wat to do..i dunt tink dey cn repair it..hmm..wateva la..i juz hafta remind myself nt to brood ova it..
for now i've juz gotta use bro's pc..hafta share wit him..haiz..well i cn onli use it wen his out like now..n wen hes nt usin it..he asked me to create a new folder n collect all de songs n pics tat i wan n save it 1st at his comp..so later on afta my pc cn be used..i juz need to transfer de folder to my comp..guess i'l do it tmr or anotha dae la..im kinda lazy now..no mood!..n bro was like tellin me nt to feel sad bout it..hahah..i noe he meant well..but instead i go n tell him off..haiz..
y am i fated to be dis wae?..='(
im so hella bord rite now!!.i wish ders sum1 tat i cn tok to..haiz..no1 seems to care bout me..but its alrite i dun need ani1 to care..cos i cn care for myself..haha.. y shits hafta happen?damn it!!..i woke up as usual..on my pc..i used it for awhile..evritin was perfectly fine..n at de begining der was no start up prob too..haiz..so i decided to take a shower..n afta i had mine..wen into de rm im kinda shocked to c tat my comp had restart on its own..so i choose to start windows normally..but shitty hell!!..it cud nt start up..i mean go to de windows desktop..i've tried waes but still its de same..aargh..dey told me tat it is due to sumkind of hardware prob!!..wtf!!..juz bought de cpu..juz my luck la!!..my comp kept givin me probs..sumtimes its ok bt sumtimes its ko..but den wat did i do wron man!!..i called bro..like i expected he'l sae de same thing..aargh..but how i noe sae it becum till like tis..he said tat i dun need to use pc animore!!..so i juz dint said anitin n juz put down de phone..i was kinda fucked up..cos i dint do anitin..n hes like blamin me for all de pc's problem tat had occured..how shud i noe man..i dint eva touch on de hardware stuffs..he was de one all tis while..but hes blamin me!!..aarrgh...blame him on takin out de old hard disk..fuck man..now i cnt use my pc..n i dunt tink he'l be interested to check wats de prob wen he cums bac from work..cos he get so sick checkin on my pc time n time again..aarghh!!..watsofuckineva..im juz gonna shut up later!!!!!!..i wan him to make de 1st move if nt..be tat wae!!..no pc for me foreva!!..but now lucky tho he dint put any password at de start up window..if nt i cnt use his comp..hahah..
well ytd..received my results slip from post..n actuali i was shocked to c my result for de current term..i tot i got 3 points for de current term but actuali i got 2.6..i was like oh gosh!!..i reali dropped tat much..cos de previous term i got 3.3..n now it dropped to 2.6..haiz..so de average gpa for me is 3 points..hmm..but thank god tho its 3 points..im tryin my luck to apply for higher nitec..hmm..crossed my fingers..n all thanks to sophie..she called n told me..if nt i dint see my results properly n i wont noe tat i got 2.6 for de current term..n sophie was so shocked too..even more shocked den i am..hurhur..
shitss..evritin is nt goin fine!!! December 23 weee!!!!!oh well juz now in de mornin followed my unkel as i hafta accompanied my granny whom i called nani to sgh for her medical check up..so my unkel picked me up at ard 9..n while he was drivin one of his fren called him n he asked me to answer..but his fren wanted to tok to him..so he became like so stressed up until he dint exit de cte city..hee..n so he hafta take de longest route to de hspital..so we were like in de car for like half an hr or so..hee..n so we had to wait for an hr for nani's turn to c de doc..while waitin..she was like so impatient..she kept saein..'kenape lmbt nie..issh..org tak jalan'..hehe..n we kept saein tat we had to wait for our turn..cos ders lotsa of pple n de doctor needs to check thoroughly..well..shes too old to undastan tho..but shes funny la..hehe..but pity her sey..her jerking had started again..she will jerked at anitime..so we hafta becareful so tat she will nt fall off from de wheelchair..n afta de doctor's check up she had to take de blood test,xtray n injection..so while waitin for de xtray my aunt n zaki joined us..so at least im nt tat bored..cos ders zaki..tat irritatin boy..lol!!!..hehe..so we were like crazee pple..took pics n sing2 n laff2..hurhur..n joke wit my unkel n aunty..haha..my unkel will laff his heart out wenever he saw de video nyonya lepak..he asked me to bluetooth to him as zaki dun wanna send him..ahah..i will always laff seein him laffin his heart out..so funny..hurhur..cute la..ahha..so den afta evritin finally finished at bout 4 plus..we wen to delifrance..ate der..n i ended up changin food wit nani..ehee..so basically from at der wat we do is juz waiting..
oh yea while waitin for nani's turn to c de doc..i saw my pri skool form teacher,Mr Ching..i luked at him n i smiled n he luked n smiled bac n asked my name..n so he tot tat my unkel was my dad..maebe hes mistaken la..cos he said he saw my unkel b4..proabably hes mistaken my unkel as my dad as dey luked alike..i mean dey r siblins afta all..ahah..so i asked him wat hes doin n he told tat he had to take his wife for de dressings..ive neva eva saw his wife..she luks young tho..but quite frenly..n he sat beside me for a min n asked me wat im doin now n he was like askin me wether i was de one of dem hu he had brought to de royal crown hotel for de buffet durin de fasting month..n so i said yea yea i was der too..n so from der he remembered me cos he had teached too many students..but i guess wen i told him tat i was der wen he treated us to de buffet dinner..n he kind of recognized me..n afta his wife's had finished her dressings..dey both bid us gudbye to me my unkel n granny..n he was saein 'bye2 Noraidah'..i was like quite shocked to hear..cos he still remembered my name..i mean yea i noe i told him earlier on..but tat is like half an hr ago..haha..hes a nice teacher la..hes so kind to haf treat us to de buffet dinner..hehe..
n afta tat i received a call from de agency..de lady mil whom interviewed me last time called me n asked wether if i wanna consider for de vacancy of receptionist cum admin..i was so like half hearted to answer her..but at last i said oh well ok la..n she asked wether i cn handle simple telephone calls n typin..i was like hmm..ok la cn la..haaha..aarrgh..im so scared!!..n she told me tat de pay is 5.50 per hr n its at suntec..i guess she'l kol me bac cos she need to call her clients 1st..hmm..well i was askin wen cn i go for de interview n she was saein ders no interview..i guess she was tryin to imply tat i cn start work on tuesday..ooh gosh!!..i reali dunt noe!!..but now i juz hafta wait for her kol..but me??..a receptionist??..gosh..hell no man!!..c la how..prayin tat i'l be ok..wat im scared is de anwerin phone calls..tu la..wen mr choong taught us telephone skills we dint listen..i mean we dint even pay attention to his lesson..n no1 eva pay attention to him..n c i ended up like tis..aiyo!!..tokin bout mr choong..i miss him man..hes so cute la..ahah..well now am juz crossin my fingers hopin tat evrytin wud be fine..hmm..
im hungry now..but got no mood to eat..see la later i'l eat wit my dad..cos mum cooked macroni soup..but for now im gonna go pray maghrib..n weee!!..gonna watch love conceige later!!..hee..so ciaozzz.. December 22 omg..alisha is soo soo cute!!hohoho..icah is juz soooooooo super cute!!!..my niece so big oredi liao!!!..hehe..she came..played wit her..so cute la..cnt help it la..ders no otha word tat i cn describe her except for cute..hehe..wit her big eyes..hehe..den afta maghrib wen bedok intch for awhile..as sis n bro in law wanna check de cost of de digi cam,panasonic fx9..so me n dad followed for awhile..so der goes my chance to c de chinese drama,love conceige..but nah minds..ders still tmr..if onli digi cam cn trade in im sure dad will trade up to fx 9..haha..actuali its exactly de same as our fx7..its juz tat fx9 is 6 megapixel while fx 7 is 5 megapixel..ala..no big diff la..de higher de pixel de bigger de size..n its so troublesome liao!!..heehe..n oh yea..i bought a wax at watson..its specially for de permed hair..
well dint ate much la todae..n i dint even taste my mum's kachang pool..tot of eatin at nite..but den now im so lazy to go n eat..n i dun reali like kachang pool tho my mum's kachang pool is nice..i noe..hees...so dint ate anitin except for one vadhey which we bought at bazaar earlier on..seems like i got no appetite to eat..i was caught up in de room for like 3 hrs or so..was feelin so hungry at tat time..n afta mum's frens left..i wen out n helped mum wit washin de dishes..tot of eatin but i dun feel like..so i onli ate de nagasari..n i ate 3 of dose..hurhur..
later on i'd betta sleep early man..cos i'l be followin my unkel n granny at 8.30 in de mornin tmr..so i hope i cn wake up!!..but actuali im nt worryin bout wakin up..wat im worried is i cnt go to sleep..heehe..
oh yea..took sum pics wit alisha..she was not in de mood to take pics tho..all dint turn out well..but ok la..as long as ders alisha's face n mine..hee.. Gabrielle"Out Of Reach" Knew the signs Wasn't right I was stupid for a while Swept away by you And now I feel like a fool So confused, My heart's bruised Was I ever loved by you? Out of reach, so far I never had your heart Out of reach, Couldn't see We were never Meant to be Catch myself From despair I could drown If I stay here Keeping busy everyday I know I will be OK But I was So confused, My heart's bruised Was I ever loved by you? Out of reach, so far I never had your heart Out of reach, Couldn't see We were never Meant to be So much hurt, So much pain Takes a while To regain What is lost inside And I hope that in time, You'll be out of my mind And I'll be over you But now I'm So confused, My heart's bruised Was I ever loved by you? Out of reach, So far I never had your heart Out of reach, Couldn't see We were never Meant to be Out of reach, So far You never gave your heart In my reach, I can see There's a life out there For me heee..heard tis song from de radio..nice song indeed..its an old song..ahaha forget evrytin.okok..life's been de same..cnt sleep last mornin..i tried to sleep but i cnt..i wen in my bro's rm.still i cnt sleep..i wen in to my mum's rm still cnt manage to sleep..haha..i tried evriwer but simply i cudnt..hahah..guess evridae i used to wake up like 10 plus so its difficult for me to sleep early at nite..aargh..i hate wen it cums to like dis..i was sighing n complainin to myself tat i've got a headache..n bro was sittin on de dinin table n he told me 'kau tau kenape kau jadi cm gini?..cos u shud get a job'..hahah..i was like yea yea wateva..i was too lazy to layan him..but i layan him at last cos he was so irritatin..n told him tat if i were to work i need money for breaks n fares..n he kept quiet for awhile n he said but if i sit at hm de electric bill will rise up cos evridae i will like on my pc de whole dae n i'l watched tv n so on..hmm..quite true tho..haha..aargh.i dunt noe wat to do wit my life man!! .well..so ended up watchin tv..hahah..now i kinda like de discovery living n travel on channel 16..saw de sync n swim..nice..but too bad i dint watch it until finish..it finished at 4 am..but i had to switch off de tv at 3.30am as dad told me to go n sleep..haiz..too bad den..so i had to reali force myself to sleep..haha..
but juz now i was awakened by mum's voice..omg!!..it was so damn bloody hell loud man!!..she dint brought her keys n she was like shoutin my name..''aida!!..bukak pintu''..n she kept repeatin so many times..oh gosh..was so irritatin..haha..she noes tat i was asleep..so i guess she shouted out loud so i cud hear..haha..but common la..her normal voice is alreadi loud..i mean cn alreadi wake me up evri mornin..n watsmore if she shouts..de whole world cn hear it..lol..
guess later i'l juz hafta slack in my rm..coz todae mum's ustazah n her frens will be cumin for de yasin ting in de aftanoon..n mum is like doin like a small doa selamat too for her 30 yrs aniversary..so i'l juz keep quite in my rm n do my own tings..haha..n she so semangat to cook kacang pool specially for her frens n ustazah..hmm..its rainin outside..haiz..
well todae seri had to start workin..shes gona work evridae for now..isnt it great..at least it'l kill her boredom n she'l earn sum income..unlike me..its so frustratin sittin at hm..actuali i wanna go to de interview at de wing tai rd for de topshop job..but i tink tat dint suits me..coz i will hafta handle customers n all stuffs..n watsmore u'l like hafta put on make ups n its a hell no for me!!..n even my bro agrees tat i cnt do tat job..i guess i cnt do sales la..easy to sae..aiyo!!!..
well tmr need to follow my unkel as to accompany my granny to hspital for medical check ups..so i'd betta sleep early todae!!..hmm..n yea zaki got ping yi sec..n its de new one..shits..im so de bad luck man..i dint get to see de new skool..haiz..i bet it muz be great..hahah..de 2 brothers r de same..1st it was me hu skool at ping yi pri n followed by aza n den zaki..n at sec skool..i chose ping yi sec n i got it..den aza got it too..n now zaki got it too..dey r so kepo!!...well actuali im also de kepo ones too..cos sis was de 1 hu skool at ping yi pri n ping yi sec first..hee..jgn in de future dey go ite bishan suda!!..heheh..like duh!!
hear tis song at seri's blog..its nice!!..like her voice..so cool..was sang by cranberries..
"When You're Gone"
Hold onto love that is what I do now that I've found you. And from above everything's stinking, they're not around you. And in the night, I could be helpless, I could be lonely, sleeping without you. And in the day, everything's complex, There's nothing simple, when I'm not around you. But I'll miss you when you're gone, that is what I do. Hey, baby! And it's going to carry on, that is what I do. Hey, baby... Hold onto my hands, I feel I'm sinking, sinking without you. And to my mind, everything's stinking, stinking without you. And in the night, I could be helpless, I could be lonely, sleeping without you. And in the day, everything's complex, There's nothing simple, when I'm not around you. But I'll miss you when you're gone, that is what I do. Hey, baby! And it's going to carry on, that is what I do. hey, baby... well now i'l juz shut myself..  December 21 ermm..well..its kinda dark outside..guess its gonna rain soon..hmm..been sittin at hm 24/7..haiz..bored to de max..kind of hungry too..juz now at noon onli had myojo tom yam.b4 zaki came here he bought de cup noodle at de econ minimart..hmm..bored2..juz now watched tv kinda long..from 12 plus to like 4..hurhur..if dad noes it i'l be like dead..hurhur..haiz..havin a plasma its a problem tho..i prefer usual tvs..guess plasma its like so sensitive..needs to be cool la..n wats more dad bought a stand fan specially for de plasma tv..haha..so troublesome..
juz now dere were cool shows..watched mtv channel,star world n de travel n living channel..1st i watched de oprah winfrey show..tat show is cool..hahah..all kinds of stuffs..n followed by de travel n living..dey showed de stuffs at dubai..dose carpets were so beautifully done.im juz so amazed by de beautiful carpets.its like wow!!..bt im sure it'l cost tons of dollars..hee.n afta tat dey showed de places of interest in morocco..cool n nice stuffs der..haha..followed by my super swit sixteen..gosh if onli i cud haf tat kinda birthday bash..its gonna be like so cool..its so damn grand..well..dream on aida!!..hurhur..n lastly follwed by mtv's burned..haaha..all de jerks!!..n holy shit i forgot to continue de ashlee simpson show at 4..as i was so busy chattin wit my cuzz,adah..
haiz..so now i am bored..waitin for bro to cum bac as hes buyin sum food for us..n oh ya..mum n dad annivesary was ytd..so its like HAPPI BELATED 30TH ANIVESARY TO BOTH MY BELOVED DAD N MUM!!!..may god bless dem!!..n wow dey've got married for 30 yrs..n i'l hope it'l last till eternity..n im sure dey've gone thru so many ups n downs thru out tis 30 yrs..heeh..how i wish i cud be like dem..i too wanna marry n last till eternity..i mean hu dun wan rite..but see evritin is in god's hand..
im missin him now!!!..hmm.. December 20 aite...well..guess tis wk wont be goin out wit seri..she asked me out juz now..wanted to go orchard..but its alreadi about 6..hell no im goin out at tis time..my bro n dad will be bac..tho i dunt haf curfew but its juz tat i wan dem to noe tat i cn discipline myself..well for seri's case is diff..his dad works shifts n he got no siblins..so shes like kinda free to go out at anytime or evridae..but for me i got my BRO..haha..my so called protective bro..i appreciate for wat hes doin to me..cos he juz dun wan me to be like dose wild gals out der..haha..i undastan bro..so dun u worry..hmm..i reali dun wanna make dad n mum worried bout me..so its best tat i behave myself..n i mean i've always been behavin myself..ahahha..at least im proud to sae tat im nt givin my parents trouble nt like dose gals out der whom i've known..neva stop givin their parents trouble..haiz..wake up la pple..hmm..but one ting i regret is tat i cnt make my parents proud of me..cos i dunt do well in my studies durin sec skool daes..bt its alrite..im gonna do best if i cn go higher nitec nxt yr..insya'allah..
hmm well chat wit my cuzz..adah..hees..we had a long chat..hurhur..i told her..i neva tot tat i cud tell her..hees..shes such a nice n swit person..thanks for de advices tho..ehee..shes like an expert..hurhur..
hmm mum cooked mee tomato todae..nice2..like her cookin..wonda wen i cn cook like her..guess gonna take tons of years to be like her..lol..
am missin him..haiz.. it duesnt pay to be kind..haiz..felt weird wen i woke up..its hard to undastan..well..ytd b4 sleepin at ard 12 plus dad sat wit me in my rm n we toked n afta awhile bro came to join us..hmm..so many tings happened..pple change..but dey dun realised..sumtimes it duesnt pay to be kind..it's always us hu haf to be good to dem..y dey cnt do de same bac to us..im nt askin for more ok..its juz tat y dey cnt do to dad n mum!!..im so dissapointed in dem..haiz..for all de sacrifices dad n mum had made..but wat do dey get in de end??..haiz..see sumtimes pple dunt noe how to be grateful..if i were dem..i wud felt so blessd cos dad has been helpin..insya'allah in de future i will nt 4get dad or mum..dey r my numba 1 priority..cos dey r de ones hu brought me up to wat im now..n how cn i juz forget dem..haiz..as dad was saein 'biar org buat kita tkpe tuhan ada kat atas'..yes i reali agree to tat..all tis while i've been stickin to tat phrase..im still alrite for dose frens hu did to me..i juz tink bac tat god is up der..its fine..i reali envy dad...hes has patience goin thru his life wit many kinds of pple..haiz..i hope tat one dae all dose pple will get their desserts..im nt cursin or anitin..its juz a fact..cos u hafta answer for ur own action.n u shud noe wat u had done..
well..im fine n i dun haf ani guilty conscience as i've neva done anitin wrong to ani1..so its dem hu gave me de cold shoulder ..but its alrite i dun need ani1 animore..im alreadi thankful cos i had my loved ones..thanks for all... December 19 stickwitu.i felt so blessed..thanks to god for evritin tat hes given to me n till now..tho thru out my journey der r juz too many ups n downs but im still so thankful to u..i cnt neva blame fate for wat had happened..
i <3 him.
"Because You Loved Me"
For all those times you stood by me For all the truth that you made me see For all the joy you brought to my life For all the wrong that you made right For every dream you made come true For all the love I found in you I'll be forever thankful baby You're the one who held me up Never let me fall You're the one who saw me through through it all You were my strength when I was weak You were my voice when I couldn't speak You were my eyes when I couldn't see You saw the best there was in me Lifted me up when I couldn't reach You gave me faith 'coz you believed I'm everything I am Because you loved me You gave me wings and made me fly You touched my hand I could touch the sky I lost my faith, you gave it back to me You said no star was out of reach You stood by me and I stood tall I had your love I had it all I'm grateful for each day you gave me Maybe I don't know that much But I know this much is true I was blessed because I was loved by you You were my strength when I was weak You were my voice when I couldn't speak You were my eyes when I couldn't see You saw the best there was in me Lifted me up when I couldn't reach You gave me faith 'coz you believed I'm everything I am Because you loved me You were always there for me The tender wind that carried me A light in the dark shining your love into my life You've been my inspiration Through the lies you were the truth My world is a better place because of you You were my strength when I was weak You were my voice when I couldn't speak You were my eyes when I couldn't see You saw the best there was in me Lifted me up when I couldn't reach You gave me faith 'coz you believed I'm everything I am Because you loved me You were my strength when I was weak You were my voice when I couldn't speak You were my eyes when I couldn't see You saw the best there was in me Lifted me up when I couldn't reach You gave me faith 'coz you believed I'm everything I am Because you loved me I'm everything I am Because you loved me
tis song is juz so nice..n i remembered durin our sec 2 music lesson..de teacher test us tis song..n we had to memorise n sing out loud n she had to graded us for tat..hee..so kewl.. December 18 hmm..guess its de end of us..haiz..tinkin bout faz..guess our frenship ends here..its reali a sad ting for me..shes been like so quiet wen i asked her out..guess shes alreadi lazy to reply my smes... she neva cared bout me..not animore..haiz..but sec skool daes was de best part of my lives..but luk now..none of my sec skool fwens had reali keep in touch wit me..yes i reali noe rite from de start afta we wen seperate waes..u me we us gonna change..haiz..but tho i've got new frens but im nt like sum kind of pple hu forget bout old frens watsmore we''ve been togetha for so long..haiz..guess dey reali neva feel how i feel..dey juz take for granted..if onli i cud tell dem..i dint change at all..im still de same old aida tat dey used to noe..its dem hu changes evritin..n dey makes me feel awkard wenever i c dem..but i told myself its alrite..cos i dunt wan our frenship to end..but luk now..i reali cnt save de frenship..wen it was one sided..its been always me hu reach out for dem..im tired of reachin out..it reali makes me cry seein how dey treated me like as if i was a stranger..dunt dey eva feel of dese feelings tat i felt..haiz..well its gud as saein tat YEA MAN I'VE LOST ALL MY SEC SKOOL FWENS..N I'L NEVA GET DEM BAC..NEVA EVA..haiz..tings wont be de same..bear in mind aida!!..tat dey r not part of ur life animore!!..u juz gotta move on w/o dem!!.no use rakin up de past..instead face de future..do wats best for u..PEACE OUT!!..
I miss him!..hmm... December 17 well oh well..ok im so full..tho i dint ate much..nowadaes i dunt noe y i got no appetite to eat much..cos i will feel like vomittin..haha..weird..hmm wateva..juz came bac eatin at ya salam wit dad n bro..b4 tat we wen to survey phones as dad intend to buy de k750i..hmm.ok la nt bad la de phone..n bro oso was like askin for de sony ericsson w800i..hmm..im sure dad will agree to it if he were to like trade in his samsung d500..cos dad was saein yea tat w800i nt bad huh is nice too..hahah..ok im nt jeles or watesoeva cos i reali lost interest in new phones tho i like kinda fell in lurve wit 2 new nokia phones..i mean its juz for de designs onli la..so told myself nt to waste dad money n change phones unnecesarily..n its alreadi gud enuff tat im usin tis 3230 phone..haahah..so be grateful for wat u haf..
well in de mornin juz now..flip2 thru de straits time at de recruit section..was lukin for all de jobs related to admin..haiz..i juz kinda dun haf self-confidence man wen dey were like statin good interpersonal skill n good communication skill n all stuffs..hmm..haizz..n watsmore most of de jobs need experience for like a yr or so..haiz..so how am i gonna apply for de job if i dun haf all de requirements tat dey need..hmm..n yea i was browsin thru de ite website n i saw dey stated for de nitec graduates who which to apply for higher nitec dey cn do so startin from 7 march to 18 march 06..hmm..so am juz hopin n tryin my luck for de admin course at bishan..im hopin i'l get bishan cos im puttin it as my 1st choice..but i cnt said much as my gpa is onli 3..so its like gud enuff if i cn reali further my studies to higher nitec..so yea am prayin hard for it..insya'allah..amin..hees..
so zaki came..its been like few daes zaki came here..ahah..at least i got companion..haha..im so bad..i like to bully him..but i noe he dun mind..hehe..sorry huh..dun take it to heart!!..sumtimes im juz kiddin wen i said tat ur irritatin..but actuali tats a fact tho..ehehes..well..i treat him like my small bro..cos i dunt reali haf small siblins as im de last one..so its like so bored bein alone at hm n no1 to disturb n tok too..haha..but lucky ders zaki tho..we r kinda close as mum used to baby sit him wen he was small..ahah..hmm..
i gotta go to de toilet now!!..aarrgh..its urgent December 16 haiz.well..im bored..i've juz gotta do sumtin wit my life..aarrggh..i need to find a work..but i dunt noe y..i juz cnt seem to work cos maebe ders sum reasons to it..im nt independent,i've neva suffer any hardship n de most is i hardly talk..i mean as in berat mulut...i hafta juz get de feelin of shyness out of me!!!..aarghh..so basically tats de particular reasons tat is y till now i dint find any job..haiz..how i wish wen i was small my parents cud be more strict on me..n let me suffer a lil hardship so its easy for me to adapt wen i grew up..guess my dad n mum had reali spoilt me till now n tats y now im stuck..haiz..n its so hard for me to get on wit my life..i see myself as an useless gal..seein my frens how responsible dey r..unlike me..i dun even help mum wit housework chores..i mean sumtimes onli..n seriously my dad dint eva scold me for nt doin anitin tho its my school holidae..aarrgh..see im such a spoilt brat..i reali wanna change but i guess i need time..i noe i pity mum sumtimes tho she nags at me..aargh..bt sumtimes shes juz too unreasonable..sumtimes i wud reali wanna help her but ended up quarrelin wit her..so tat makes me got no mood to help her..n hearin all dose words tat hurt me..suddenly i gave up evritin..now i noe how sis used to feel..actuali we de sistas cnt reali click wit mum..how i envy otha doters n mums out der..haiz..my mum is juz one of a kind..im nt saein bad bout her..but its juz a fact of hers..tat is so hard to change as shes gettin on..haiz..however im grateful tho to get a fatha like dad..i've alreadi lost for words to describe him..he lurves his children so much until we became spoilt brat..n esp me..at times..wen i tink all tis im reali worried bout my future..how wud i be wen both of my parents r gone one dae..i mean evri has to go u c..haiz..but afta all..i haf to be grateful to mum for wat she had done to me till now..i guess if i dun change my attitude now..sumdae it'l be too late for me..n no use regrettin..so yea..i juz hope tat i'l put my lazyness behind me..
ok change for de betta ok aida!!!!!!!! December 15 hurts.aargh..got menstrual cramp..n finally my period came!!!..afta like so long i've waited..haha..hmm..i ate 2 panadols..cos i cnt reali bear wit de pain..tho i noe its nt gud to eat panadol if u suffered from menstrual cramp..but hu caress..bored..dint had my breakfast nor lunch..actuali i onli ate jambu wit kicap..hees..
hmm..i miss my classmates..had conference wit mai n seri juz now..n chatted wit sophie too..n i reali miss dem..dose lafter we had..haizz..but am glad tho cos we still keep in contact..i hope tis will last..
n ytd alisha came!!..hee..shes soo super duper cute..hheee..wit heer big n beautiful eyes of hers..hmm..now she likes to bang her head wen hearin musics..aint she cute..hee..juz cnt get enuff of her..hmm
hmm..i wan to work!!..but how??..i dint make an effort to go n find one..haiz..i cnt juz expect de work to juz cum on me..haha..i wish miracle cud happen..hurhur..
hmm..aza is goin to aussie later at midnite.hmm..hes gonna brin his grandma der..so jeles of him..hees..hes gona be awae for 2 weeks..hmm..pity zaki dint get a chance to follow dem..aaarggh..i juz cnt tink bout aussie..if nt rite now i guess i'l be at der enjoyin..hmm..n be bac on 18 dec..haiz..pretty sad tho..haha..wateva!!..hope aza n his granny haf a safe journey!!.. hmm..no use regretin..haiz..i felt sumtin tats buggin me..he is juz too gud for me..how cud i possibly face him n all de pple out der..however hard i tried not to feel tat wae bt it juz came naturally botherin me..aargh..actuali im so embarassed for de fact tat im now..omg..sumtimes it seems to me tat we r juz so impossible..ders like no wae ok..seein his world n mine is juz too far diff..but i noe hes a humble man hu dun luk at status..im grateful tho..bt i cnt deny de feelin i had for him..hmmm..n its a sincere one..gosh..i cnt believe hes de 1st eva guy whom i had cried for..cos de feelin i felt for him runs deep in my heart..hmm..onli god noes de feelin tat i felt..well..all i hope now is juz too be happi..hope evritin will be fine..cum wat may..my life still has to go on..
well..checked my results..1st of all i thank god..cos i pass!!..but got 3.0 for my gpa..gosh it decrease like i predicted..my bsa got C..hmm..well..its alrite..things had happen..juz luk forward tho ders still scars remain..but i juz gotta luk on de bright side..im prayin hard tat i'l get to go higher nitec..ooh god..from now ur de onli one hu will decide..like dey sae we human cn onli merancang.but allah is de one hu will menentukan nya..so yea..crossin my fingers.. December 14 Kau AurakuKau Auraku
Malam kehadiran cinta sambut jiwa baru DAD IS A ONE IN A MILLION NOBLE SOUL!!!!i simply cnt describe dad..he is juz one of a noble soul..like bro said..hes like the one in a zillion daddy,der cn be no otha!!!..n i mean its true..im blessed..im grateful to haf a daddy like dad..if onli ders like an award for de best dad in de whole wide world..i wud reali wanna nominate him..i wanna tell de whole world tat MY DAD IS DE BEST DAD TAT U CN EVA FOUND!!..hes like an angel god sent from above..
ytd dad wen wit bro to tm..dad took new sim card..so wen bac bro searched for sony ericsson k700i..i tink dad was half hearted wether to buy himself de phone tat he had lost or otha phones..so i told him nt to buy de same phone..its like to me wen u had alreadi lost de phone u shudnt buy bac de same phone cos it'l remind u bac how de phone got lost n im sure ders feelin of regret..cos ders still sum scars to sumtin bad had happen..so yea den dad asked for bro's phone n he luked n said tat bro's phone is nice..he tried msgin usin tat phone n its kinda easy..he told bro y not he'l take bro's phone n he'l buy bro a new one tat he wans..haha..like i predicted..tis tings wud happen..sumtimes he duesnt ended up buyin for himself..but his childrens hu ended up buyin..see how great dad is..haiz..im simply juz lost for words..hmm..n yea i promised myself not to change phone nemore la..im sick of phones afta changin 7 to 8 of dem..tho tis nokia 3230 likes to hang2 but ok la..i juz gotta bear wit it..as long as ders camera,u cn type msg n u cn make a kol..tat'l be ok..
ooh gosh..tmr is my result!!!...im scared tinkin of it..wonda wat my gpa will be..im sure it'l go down afta wat had happen..i juz cnt forget tat incident..ders still scars left to it..
asked my siblins,cuzz n peeps opinion on my new hair luk..dey said luk nice..haha..bro said tat it juz suits me...but i noe i luk diff..but nah im sure i'l get used to it..i juz dun wanna haf like a not matured luk..so tats y i decided to perm my hair..hurhur |
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