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Noraidah kadir

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real simple gal...
fear cats real loads
de feelin wont eva change
till my last breathe..
lurve my family
esp dad!!..de world greatest daddy
tat cn neva eva be found aniwer!..
a pair of panda eyes!
like daddy like doter..hee
May 14  
Photo 1 of 12
March 23

ok

 
 
hohoho
i tink i be using blogspot from now onwards
hurhur
ailirophobia.blogspot.com
hmmmmm
but maybe i still be using this spaces
hehee
see la my mood
March 21

hm

 
 
 
 
 
wokay
frens busy appealing for their choice of courses
while i already gave up
haha
applied for mai
theres still vacancy for accounting at bishan
but at least im satisfied to c that ders no vacancy left for admin at bishan
n i dont realy care if ders vacancy for accouting
as im nt interested at all
i might feel regret if i c ders still vacancy at bishan for admin
cos sometimes u never try u never noe u c
but wateva it is
i hafta be thankful for wat i am now
cos dad still like cn afford to pay for this private course of mine
so now i just hafta focus on that and not to think bout ite again
cos i just gotta move on
so yeaahh
hahaha
bt i hope mai and aisha would get their choice for accounting at bishan tho
good luck fellas.
 
 
ok be going to nani's hse later wit wadah
so sad to hear when she said she wans to go back
shes been acting weirdly
i mean thats the signs of pple who knows that they are leaving this world
this world is not forever
one fine day we all human being will still go bac to where we are suppose to be
kinda sad to hear that
i just hope it's nt so soon
bt whatever it is it's all in god's hands
who noes nani cn still live in this world for like another 20 yrs
insya'allah
god noes better.
March 20

bored leh

 
 
 
 
 
 
hmm
boredness.
damn seriously im getting sick of all the songs thats inside my comp
aarggh
shitt
ive had enuf of hearing de same old song
haizz
 
did nth the whole day
rot at hm
and that philipine story is getting exciting
hahaha
im kinda loving it
on the other hand
hearing his comments bout phili pple
makes me really wonder are they reali that bad
cos he hate phili damn alot!
huhur
bt what he saes bout some facts is reali true actuali
i cn reali see from myself when im watching that drama
haha
bt nevertheless,the actors and actress are handsome2 and pretty2 
 
ermm
i wanna go shopping!!
but on 2nd thoughts im seriously lazy to go out
but one day i reali need to
as i gotta buy bag sandals or slippers and maybe some clothes
skool startin in june
so hafta get ready sooner or later
but damn i
ive not yet receive my 102 bucks
like stoopid!
argh
maybe one day i'l ask seri along to shop for my stuffs.

N.A.N.I

 
hahaha
nani is so stubborn ok
she kept going out and in the toilet
go out from de kitchen toilet and go in to the bedroom toilet
for like 4 times
but she did no business there
just sat at the toilet bowl
and bite her nails
we were all so curious why she kept wanting to go to the toilet
haha
weirdo
nani nani
she is just so cute
and anyway she look nice in that pyjamas suit
hee.
March 18

cuteness.

 
 
 
hokay
actuali im just boredA
seriously am.
nth to do
bro wen out already
if onli i get as much freedom as he gets
hmm
but to think
i do actuali got freedom tau
its just that the problem lies in me
its me hu am lazy to go out and jalan2
cos dad dint gimme any curfew
i realise that as i grow,the lesser i go out
unlike my sec skool days
gosh
its totally diff
but still dad gimme the permission
so i guess if i were to go out frequently im sure dad wont mind actualy
cos hello im like turning 18 this yr wokay
hmm
its ok la
so im just like a lazy pig!
boredness runs in my evryday life
 
just now after magrib we went to see huzair
gosh
the wounds are bad sey
its scary when u see it
pity him tho
hmm
i hope he be fine
 
up to now
no nth
so wait is the only choice
one thing bad bout me i like to imagine bad stuffs
and so pessimistic
argh
fucked up feeling
haha
maybe hes real bz
i dont know
just wait lor.
tried contact amera
bt cud nt get thru
hmmmmmm.
 
 
well needless to say nani is just so cute la
seriously
chat wit zaki
he on his webcam and put it near nani
so me n wadah cn sees what shes doing there
like we cn see her karena
she cnt sitl still
so zaki hafta move the webcam ard
cos at times shes at the balcony sittin beside aza while playing xbox
n at times she sits at the dining table
n also she baring at her bilik
and when shes tired of evrything she'l go to the dapur
hahaha
and she and bibik is like 'choo choo train'
walk round the hse
hehee
cuteness la
haha
n we cnt help from smiling la seein her
her habits,bitting her nails non stop,scratch here and there
hehe
nani nani
guess she'l be my cutest granny
hehe.
 
 
 
 

s.a.d

 
 
 
 
 
argh
hate the feeling rite now
3 days ok!
no news
like wth!
if i wasnt important at all than fine!!!!
why its always me have who to bear it
whenever this happens.
seriously i am nt a toy
i hve to understand pple's feeling but hu will understand mine
i wish he could noe how bad i am missing him rite now
enuff said bout him
it makes me feel more worst
damn u,u r the one who has been lingering on
 my mind for the past few mnths
if nt i be free and easy
seriously no worries at all
and i did enjoyed that
haiz.
okok enuff shits
wait is the only choice
 
 
my god,ytd had lotsa laffter wit my cuzzies
and it was my 1st time watchin dimensi 4
haha
we did shout while watchin it
blame that pochong la!
issh
and in the end after the drama
wadah n me went bac
and kita yg takot2 sendiri
haha,merepek sey!
ahhaa
 
so wadah n me slept nearly 3am
b4 that we had a long chat bout 'guys'
haiz
diff kinds of guys here in this world
and hahah im shocked!seriously
you cn never judge a book by its cover
 
and yes i ate lotsa foods ytd
shit
i think my weight had increase
haiz.
see now my appetite had come back
i wish for now i woudn't haf appetite to eat
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                                                                                                                               

March 16

HELLA BORD

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   chilling  yeah!!!                                                                                                      <3 us!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                the cuzzies aite

 

came bac from nani's hse

haiz,nani is as usual so stubborn

kena scold too

hehe

bt its normal tho,i noe she dont mean it

hurhur

shes so weak

and cnt even walk properly

pity her

heeh

but seeing her cuteness karena makes me smile

ate nasi lemak

nicey!

esp de sambal

slurpss

am sleepy now

dad told me to find a part time work while waiting for skool to start

but where the hell cn i find work??

and what work?

haiz

boredom!!!!!!!!!!

so sick of sittin at hm!

aargh.

seriously i feel like changing phone sey

feel so jealous hearing pple changing phone

haiz

3G is kinda cool

but to think there's nth la

if you are overseas than it might be useful

been aiming for w800i

my siblings using that

but its still ex

like tkkan i wanna ask dad to change phone

afta he had fork up my school fees

i hafta be resonable tho

bt i surely am confident that dad agrees to me changing phone

hahaa

i know dad!

but i be quiet la for now

see if he sound once again

maybe i would consider changing it

tho if its nt w800i maybe something else would be nice too

see la.

 

 

hmmmm

 
 
ok,not yet showered
just finished putting down the phone wit seri
n just now had conference wit seri and aisha
toking bout higher nitec
aisha is like dunt noe what decision to make
to appeal or go private like me
hmmm..
seri,she cn just sit and relax,no worries for her
hurhur
 
ok,i did feel bad tho,dad had fork out so much money for me
like abour 3k plus
goshh
and again for the holidays that we've been going n wanna go
kesian sey dad
haizzz
its all about money money money
i felt like strangling dose pple's neck who don't know how to give bac what is nt theirs
aaarggh!!!!
seriously.
if onli i could be a 'tailong'.
i will go n look up for them
take back whats is nt theirs
bloody hell pple
no initiative at all
tk tau malu
its been hell of a long
and till now no news
wtf!
like sardine je muka
its nt like 20 cents ok
its over a few k's ok
aaarrgh
fucked up!
 
ok so dad' asked  ytd nite
wether i wanna follw to genting
i tink n tink
i was reali 50 50 to go or nt to
so i dint give him an answer
and i went to sleep
so just now in the morning 1st i woke up
give him a call
and told him to just put my name
i be going tho bro is nt goin
i noe ders no fun!!
tho ders a theme park ok
but its ok la
at least i'l just go for de sake of killing my time
and i've been wanting to go genting too
about the theme park maybe i cn just ask dad to accompany me to take some of the rides
but no fren oso no fren lor!
hhmmm
so be going for 3 days
pity dad fork out money agin
haizzz
 
bt for sure in 2 weeks time wen they be goin to batam to collect mum's fake teeth
i will not follow them
so at least dad can save up on my ferry tickets
cos im sick of batam
but im nt sick of the food
aargh
shit
i feel like having gorengans n mie ayam!!!
heee
ahh
maybe i will kirim dad when he go der in 2 weeks time
yeay.
 
be goin to nani' hse
thank god she cn be discharged
haaha
home sweet home for her after a week plus in hspital
hehe
 
 
so this is where we always buy the gorengans,my favourite place of all.hehe
 
 
 
 
omg!,my muka is so selenge the bachin,zaki send me dose pics just now,n feel like putting it tho i know it'l be a laughing stock
but hey thats just me when im small,with a weird kind of hairtsyle,hehe,blame dad for it,cos he is the one hu cut it.hahaha.
 
 
   we r so cute!!,hehee,if onli the 2 brothers cn be reunited,i guess the time when they be united back,i think the world gonna end
   hehehe,zaki zaki!,aza aza!
 
 
 
 
 
March 15

wokay.

 
 
 
yes,now i know de problem that causing msn spaces could not be display
its due to the wireless router
since bro had change to a new one
bt 4get it now i know what to do when i wanna update space
 
so yeah
had alreadi registered for bmc
went there wit dad sis bro in law n alisha!
so its higher nitec in business admin
its actuali the same as what they are studying in ite
but its that the duration course is 12 mnths
n of course its expensive
n gosh,dad paid the full amnt for the course
and its like $2921.10
but mind you,i did paid for de 10 cents ok
hurhur!!
actuali we cn pay installent but its gonna be the actual amount of $3223.50
if we pay the full payment on the spot we got 10% discount
so yeah,dad decided to pay all at one shot
i know,they are putting hopes on me
hoping that i wont take it for granted and reali study real hard
i will not let them down
insya'allah im gonna study hard
and bro already warned me and saying that he's gonna monitor of my whearabouts
wokay i knew that gonna happen
but hey me,i know myself and i know how to behave
im nt like kaki merayap all dose kinds
so needless to say dose 2 men need not worry bout me
ok
bt 1 ting ders no skool holidaes for us
theres only public holiday
its alrite tho
all i hafta remember is to study real hard
cos tis is all for the sake of my future
 
i felt so caught up
aarggh.
 
ok shah's left for phili w/o a word
shit, i hate when this happen
felt like as if i was a toy w/o feelings
and i dont even know when he be bac
i know hes mad
ok fine i accept it
its my fault
but i did apologise
its nt tat i did it purposely
tho i did promise ytd to mit him just now
but in the end i cancelled it ytd's nite
seriously i thought today was tuesday
so nt until sis told me tat we r goin to bmc tmr
i was like OH SHIT!
i knew that we be goin to bmc on wed
but it reali slip off my mind when i chatted with him ytd
cos i felt like ytd was monday
so my mind tot that we be going to bmc de day after today
see la tis is all bcos of batam
cos we wnt bac on monday
so tats y wen i came bac on monday it felt like sunday
cos we usually went bac on sundays
 
bt seriously now,i reali dont know what my life will be like in future
will i finally get to be with him
k we've known for like 9 mnths or so
bt neva even met once
only webcamming
so see its real hard for me to face the reality and be fully commited
but i do hope one day i would.
i fell in love thru internet
hehe
weird huh
i know pple will like 'ala merepek la,how cn u fall in love thru internet',but it reali works for me
and de feelings is so true
and i would love to be with him
ok 1st love at the age of 17 coming 18
hurhur
pple migt be gigling at me
but hu cares
its just me
see you'l neva know what will come in your life
life is like a journey
ok  i felt like im ready to face him
u just gotta take the risk to be with someone u reali love
and im sure of my feelings
and sophie's quote is reali true
you wont get what you want,but you'l get what you never dream of
so its just like me
it'l be like a dream to me
bt after all time will decide
and i will just wait.
ok enuff said.
hope he be fine over there.
 
=(
 
ok so ders like few more mnths b4 i start skool on june
or maybe if ders enuff pple dey might be bringing it forward to april
but i would prefer to start on june
cos april is coming soon
n im nt kinda ready for skool
hehee
so home clothes will be my uniform now
hmmm.
 
ok im gonna start de next stage of my life soon
new environment new frens.
so tampines will be my evryday place
hehe,no more bishans aite
and will try to be independent
and im gonna hafta change my atitude as not to be lazy
 
okok,i'd better stop now
need to change clothes and go to the toilet
hurhur//

hehe

    

 

Cutie Lil Nabil Dzaky                                                 aww the monkey at the dental clinic

Carbon copy of pak long(i guess..hee)                 kill my time by snapping pics while waiting for mum

                                                 me carrying nabil while he's sleeping

 

                                                    Hada & Aida

 

 

wokay like finally i cn update but still ders some connection error,haizzok batam trip was ok,haha,i enjoyed on sunday where my aunties and unkels came n hada came too heehe,n yeah,ate sugar cane with hada and one of my aunty,b4 that dad cut that the tebu from pak long's tree,than so aunt showed us how to peel off the skin by bitting it,gosh,that sugar cane is real hard and how on earth cn we bite it,i know i cnt,so i sent for cutting,hehe,but my aunt did bite it till de skin peeled off,gosh shes de expert here,hurhur,so after cutting, me and hada enjoyed eating de smaller one while aunt had de long one,tat tebu is so juicy,nicee!,its nice to see so many pple at pak long's hse

 n yes i managed to eat the hotplate beancurd,its nice of all,n cnt even compared to the one i've eaten in mlysia spore,so far thats de nicest to me,the gravy is just so thick n delicious,bt one thing,i dint get to eat the gorengans sey!!,issh,stayed there for 3 days but dint even buy it,n of course i wanted the mie ayam,had it b4 at the ferry terminal b4 goin bac to spore,but damn its not de same as de stall along the road near pak long's hse,whatsmore its so cheap n taste even better,haiz,proabably i will surely buy dose foods that ive been craving on my next batam trip yeah.ok i did enjoy it after all.hmm

so just came bac from hspital,see nani,hmm shes pretty weak tho,but i dint see any jerking since i came n till i wen bac,i tink shes improving and i hope this will go on,tmr is her mri scanning,hope she cn be discharged soon,pity her seein her so stressed up in hspital,its been like a week since she was admitted there

ermm tmr at nite be goin down to the bmc centre i guess,but what do i do in the noon

ok now my im loosing my appetite,but i wasnt when im at pak long's hse,in my mind was all foods here and there haha,oh yeah did had curly fries and strawberry milkshakes at the A&W there,niceey,so i did cntrled myself as not to eat lotsa foods there.

ok now im so tired n i need my sleep

so long and gudnyteee...

i hope i wont regret to the decisions i've made,i must remember not to blame any1 for it but if i hafta i only have myself to blame aite

but i hope evryting is fine,in life you just gotta take the risk and the chance,i know once you loose it there goes your chance and im sure to regret forever if i ever loose it.so this is what my heart says and i will follow it,i will nt listen to any pple or whoever wanna say.so i shall stop here.

March 11

sleepy...

 
 
orites
that dinner was nt bad after all
see la i always like to be pessimistic bout something
but it turns to be alrite in the end
hahah.
thank god the game was nt reali lame
did participate in the heart attack game
hurhur
and the other game i am so lazy to participate
so insteda i go and cabut to toilet
hee
the food was nice
i like!
but dint had many rounds
ate rice and some of the gravy
has some fruits and kueh
and im done
n 2 of my dad's colleague kept asking me why i dint eat anymore
so i said i cnt cos i am full
but they really tot that i am dieting but actuali i am not ok!
ahaha
dey told i've loosen some weight
so they guess i might be dieting
i reali said no but they dont belief
wateva la
up to them la
hehe
actuali if cn i feel like bedal evry food at there
but too bad i cnt
cos i am reali full n i felt like vomiting
and so dad got a 3rd prize lucky draw
haha
its a steaming iron
like dose dhobby pple use
ok la
better than nth
but all that thanks to mum's hand as she is the one hu picked
one envelope out of many
and so we got that number
hehe.
damn
so i guess be seeing their faces again on april on good friday
haizz!!!!
will it be tioman or genting
just wait n see lor
 
be goin to batam later
taking the 9.10 ferry
its so early say
issh
haiz
almost finished my packing
except for the toiletries
that cn be done later
so i guess now i need my beauty sleep 1st
as gotta wake up early later
gonna miss my comp for few days
 
and i am so missing shah rite now
argh!
felt uneasy if i din't get the chance to chat with him online
wonder what's hes doin rite now
its like 4 plus over dere
hope he'l always be fine.
 
goodbye for now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
March 10

hurhur.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 not being rude tho

  and no offence

  but this is what our nani is

  heEe.

 <3 her                                                     may we smile always yeah.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

         wadah                     aidah                                                Cuzzins Eva.

 

oh well,lets stared off wit ytd,ok i did manage to calm myself down,after all it is not the end of the world,my parents did agree upon me goin taking

private higher nitec,bro dint kinda agree,as he asked to appeal,but dad n sis told like its a waste of time if i appeal,but after all bro did agree to it in the end.hmm.well my 3 close frens did get in to bishan,seri accounting,sophie and syikin admin,lucky them.just wishing them good luck tho.hmm.guess be goin down to BMC centre one of these days wit dad sis n bro.and this time i reali had to study real hard.like my dad had fork out money it'l be wasted if i dont study hard did ask him and he says ok la,haha,at least i felt better after confide him and my family.i belief evrything happens for a reason,is there any blessing in disguise,i do hope so.  well so went hspital wit wadah,haha,lucky there is her,so at least its nt that bored after all,hehe,jokes and laff as usual,and nani is still stubborn,hmm what to do,she still have to wear that body strain even tho when there is quite alot of pple are around,cos seriously we cnt handle,but i did pity her,but what to do,this is what our nani is,hehe,likes to cheat us by telling that she needs to go toilet urgently but actually she wants to walk,hahah,cuteness.and evrytime when nani is in hspital,evryday there will surely be loads of foods,like we are on a picnic.hehe.

oh shitty hell,later in the evening hafta me n mum hafta go to rendezvous hotel and mit up dad and his colleagues there,damn it,i hate,i am going for dad's sake,and dad had alreadi promised that he wont put my name if there is any company's feast,haha,he better not,so tmr be going batam,ok,kinda looking forward,bt still im like lazy to go,but at least adah is coming on sunday.

i miss alisha! hehe

dilemma,why must that be the problem.at times i dont even understand what she says,but hey i do haf the rights to make any decisions too ok,cos its me hu is the one,not anybody else.

bt i'l just listen to my heart,i hope it will lead me to the right path. and i pray for happiness.

but after all i am still grateful to god for evrything,thanks.

 

March 09

end of me

 
 
='(
my application is nt successful
what am i gonna do with my life!
will it be the end of me?
what gonna happen to me and my life
tok on the phone with mai we were so sad bout it
we felt so broken heart
haiz

truly blessed.

 
 
 
 
oh well
aiff's here now
playing by himself
his mouth cnt shut up
kept asking so many questions
hahaha
hafta send him to school later
so i decided to woke up early
as i pity him as noone's there to layan him
tho i actually slept like onli at 4 plus in the morning
was feeling so fucked up during midnite
felt so pissd off by dad
aargh
its all becos of that stupid company dinner which i am forced to go
and dad felt like i kept giving him reasons this and that la
and i dont like to listen to him la
haizz
and finally he told me that i need not follow him tmr and to the batam trip
he said sacrastically to sleep in the hospital
like wth sey
cnt he undastand that so many things are seriously on my mind
and you don't know what its like to haf a mixd feeling thats stuck
cos they are not in my shoes
so they dont feel what i feel
no use saying
enuff said
and luckily amera msged me
and we smsed each other like up to 4 hrs
she told me bout so many stuffs
at least de fucked up feeling had gone
instead the touchness,nervous,excited feeling came
and its mixed
aww,i was reali suprised
omg,only god noes
i felt just so blessed
bt at the same time nervous too!!
thinking am i out of my mind
am i being me
but i was just being me all along
bt after all i had to change wat i am now
i mean i cnt be forever like this all along
hafta think of my future too
bt still thinking,it seems like a dream to me
i mean hey look im neither a beauty nor a princess
gosh.
it is so unbelievable
bt i am trying to accept reality
bt after all
thanks god for evrythingi
i could never tot of experiencing real love
bt here i am
hoping for someone to walk in my life
and so here comes shah
hmmm
tho sometimes they are ego
and don't really show it
but i know deep down inside they do mean it
hmm
pray and hope things be fine
 
and shitty hell result is tmr
where actually its was supposed to be today
bt when i logged in
they stated that its 10 march to 13 march
gosh i reali am seriously nervous
hmm
i really wonder how would it be
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
still crosing my fingers tho
 
n be goin to hspital
lucky wadah's on hols
she be luking afta nani too
i seriously cnt handle when i am alone
cos nani is so damn stubborn for god's sakes
haha
and of cos even the nurses cnt bear with it
and so poor thing
the nurses had to body strain her
felt so sad seeing her plight
but wat cn i do
i seriously got no strength anymore trying to calm her
bt of cos she wont listen to a thing
as she insis t on having her way
well thats nani
heehe
 
am thinking of wether to put my ego aside n to just go for tmr's dinner and the batam trip
ok i think i'l leave it to my result tmr
cos ive been worrying for my result all along
till i dont haf a peace of heart
 
wow butterflies in my stomach
ermmmmmm.
March 07

deep sigh.............

 
 
 
FUCK IT
i am so pissd off wit bro
hate his bloody attitude
yeah la mum will always side with him
evry1 will side with him
sometimes it doesnt pay to be kind
i am not a toy whom he cn treat me like anyway he wants
guess i am fated to live in this world to get bullied by any1
or even a spare tyre to evri1
haiz
wateva shit la
 
got so many tings in my mind that i had to think
my work,my results,dad's company lame dinner,batam trip
n lastly nani has to be admitted to hspital tmr at 2
gosh im so stressed up
damn.
aarggh
followed mamu to nani's checkup
de doc explained to us bout stuffs that they are doing for nani
as nani's fits is still there
hmm
de doc had to arranged for mir scannig for her
and for sure i noe i had to go thru like another nightmare
n now im already worried
cos i know if nani's staying at de hspital
hu cn dey depend to luk afta nani at noon till evening
other den me
watsmore tis week i am nt working
hmm,i am nt complaing luking afta her
its just that i cnt reali handle looking afta her alone
no use i go n said to evri1 that its hard looking afta nani alone
cos dey are nt in my position
so dey just like hackcare what i said
haizz
i kept repeating tis
so much for having so many children
but in the end look what happen
you cn reali see n noe whos true and whos not
haiz
wat cn i say
im just a kid!!
bt i am sad tho seeing nani's condition
haiz
if only some pple knows what responsibility is
and support one another
im sure things be fine
so many heartless creature in this world
they don't deserve to live here
bt wateva it is i will try my best tho
no matter how hard it is
its a testing from god
i noe
so ijust hafta accept it with an open heart
i belief if our heart is true
we be fine.
 
n de result has been worrying me
that will depend my future
haizz
i hope i could get the chance
insya'allah
 
i miss him so
hes busy,just started school
and im busy
guess no chance mitting him online
bt i do hope we'l get to chat soon
hope he be fine over there
hmmm.

<3 us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MisS ThoSe SweEt MomeNts TogEtheR

MemoriEs oF 4 yEars FriEnDship

DuriNg SecOndaRy SchOoL DaYS

UpS & DoWns

BeEn MisSing ThEm AlwAyS.

March 06

=)

 
 
 
 
hehes
hmm
i fetl contented today
hahah
two things.
1st of all
dad reali trusted me
gosh
so i hope that  one day i would not wanna break his trust on me
hope it wont happen
second thing
few of my frens told me that i reali did slim down
tho we seldom met
but hey they cn reali see it from my display pic
hahaha
hmmm.
 
well,for now we are fine tho
did apologise to him and stuffs
forgive and forget is just the thing
wats done is done
hope we gonna be fine in days to come too
i hate dispute to happen btw us
it makes me go crazy
hahah
and thinking of amera's word
makes me smile and wonder
hurhur
after all will i be so lucky
haiz
 
like 3 days to result
ooh shit
butterfly on my stomach
 
im hungry but i am thinking whether to eat maggi or rice
but im sure if i ate one of those still i cnt finish
my appetite come and go
haiyo
this has neva happen sey
i guess i noe y it has been happening
hahah
 
March 05

MeEe.

 

 

  I'M ALL I'LL EVER BE

BUT ALL I CAN DO IS TRY..... 

N.O.R.A.I.D.A.H

 

 


hehe

i reali am kinda shocked

when i weigh myself

hahah

i actuali did loose like 6 kilos

goshh

i cnt believe this

after praying i saw de weighin scale at nani's rm

i was curious to know

n bibik n mum too

ahha

so they asked me to weigh

hahahaa

cos bibik mum dad n bro says i did actuali loose some weight

now i reali belief wen i saw my weight

hahahaa

wat do u expect

when i dont haf an appetite to eat for the past few weeks

my appetite come and go

hmm

damn.

tmr nt be workin

maybe for the week

they dint call us

haizz

bt i want to work sey!

its nt tat i reali nd money or wat

its just to kill time at hm

issh

ok its like 4 days away to result

so scared to noe tho

hehehe

insya'allah i will

amin,

 

i miss shah

been like few days last heard from him

hmm

time will decide evrything i guess

for the meanwhile

my life still need to go on

yujppsss.

L.O.V.E

 
 
 
 
 
hehee
just came back
wen out to courts at pasir ris
wit dad mum n bro
its been like a long time since de 4 of us went out togetha
haaha
so bought loads of electrical things

blender,rice cooker,steamboat pan and finally frying pan

haha

and dad was asking us is there anything else we wanna buy

he asked me too wether i do wanna buy tat earphone which cost 49 bucks

cos i kept seeing it

hahaha

i was like oh nvm its ok my earphone still cn work

heeehe

dad is just so kind la

bt of cos i dint take advantage to his kindness

n bro too

we know our limits

 

so afta tat we wen to simei

wanted to haf dinner at sakura cusine

but when we went there it was already closed

haiz

no luck i guess

so den wen to tampines

finally thank god kg chai chee restoran is opened

so i ordered mee goreng

but damn

i onli ate like 2 to 3 suap and than im done

seriously i got no appetite at all

aarggh

shit man

and i onli rata de squids

haizz

lucky dad dint scold me tho

hurhur

i mean its nt tat i purposely dont wanna eat rite

i just cnt

hmmmmmmm.

 

 

shessh

i tot i am strong

haha,but i am nt

guess i just cnt lie to myself bout my feeling

i pretend to be strong but actualy i reali am nt

hahah

so fake of me

i dint realised that i was selfish all along

gosh

until she reali opened my eyes

i truly appreciate for what hes done

tho i noe his situation rite now its like so difficult

 im taking the risk.

i felt like im blessed to be loved by him

all along i tot he was just my fantasy

but actuali the truth is i have to face reality

he is just too good to be true

i do genuinely love him

enuff said.

 

thanks i felt blessed

and for those pple hu has been giving me advices

thanks a million

i do appreciate it loads

n i love u pple

March 04

icah...me....

 
 
 
ALISHA & ME
 



icah came ytd

shes super cute

hehee

took pics wit her

but sadness

she still don't want pple to carry her

onli her mama cn

aiyoo..

hehee

 

March 03

cutie couple.hee.i miss evrything

 
 Cute Lil Couple
Alisha Ameera & Rian Haris
Ain't they sweet!
heEe.
 
 
 
 
 
 
SWEEET MEMORIES OF US
2003!!!
 
 
 
chatting wit salima bout our sweet moments togetha
where we kena scolded my mdm markati
for all dose shits that we've done
n i so miss our art lesson
i mean evry single thing
i've did with them
esp wit faz!!
for all dose 4 yrs we've been togetha
hehee
just bring back all dose memories
gosh
i reali miss dose moments of us being togetha
back than we were young and naive
hahah
n now we are laffing  at our stupidity
haiz
if onli we cud rewind bac
how great tat'l be
=(

''''time for revenge'''

 
 
 
 
 
ok well i just woke up
anas told nyah ytd that we need not come to work today
i was like hell yeah!!
n tmr is sat n the day after is sun
hahaks
bt oh i miss working tho
heee
guess todae i took my revenge by waking up kinda late
hurhur
 
n so mum cooked bowl kentang
today icah is cumin
yay
 
guess be going to nani's hse for awhile afta at 3.30
 
haiz
i miss him sey
shit
waited but aargh
bt seriously now i realised its so hard to understand what's inside a human's heart
cos evri1 is born diff
hmmm
 
March 02

well.....

 
 
 
hmm
as usual tired
but than not as tired as ytd
well,tmr is friday yippie
see la wen sit at hm
i am like reali wanna find job
but now wen im working
im luking forward to sit at hm
haiz
but alrite im happi tho
cos when i tink bout the salary
it just make me wanna work
tho i noe de salary is so damn pathetic
but still im in the mood to work
hurhur
cos i got a fren,nyah
who talk to me n laff wit me while we r doing our work
even one of the aunty told us that we r noisy
ahaah
 
hmm
today felt kinda tired to go to c nani
felt kinda weird like im nt reali visitn her evriday
cos i used to look afta her
but now when i start work
i cnt
hmm
i reali felt sad for her
n watsmore
i cnt afford to lose anotha grandparents
as i just lost 2 of dem last year
haizz
i hope nani's gonna be real damn fine
maybe tmr i'l visit her afta work
cos de day afta is saturday
so no work!!
hmmmmmm
 
so bro is back from reservist
tat means no webcamming at nite nemore
=(
tot of buying the cheapest webcam
hahah
budget!!
 
 
im gonna go n take my shower!
 
damn i miss my philipine show sey
i wonda how de story goes till now
haizzzzzzz
 
nxt thurs is de result
gosh
i wonda if i am fated to continue to higher nitec
i reali hope so
insya'allah.
 
March 01

oh gosh

 
 
 
 
simply tired!
gosh
work was tiring just now
ahacks
bt its alrite tho rather than i sit at hm doing nth
at least i'l get pay for it
so lunch time wen to simpang bedok wit nyah
dint ate tho,
thanks to dad for buying me breads and some air kotak for me
heheee
budget tho!!
actuali i am lazy to go out
but pity nyah cos shes alone as nas was delivering stuff
so accompanied her at last n wen to 711 n bought 100 plus n mashed patato
damn
now my leg is aching!!
 
n later be goin to nani's hse
it saddens me to hear bout nani's condition
i hope she reali am gonna be real fine
hope and pray for her health
dear god
pls give her strength and protect her
hmm.
i <3 nani!!!!
 
i miss my philiphine show
hahaha
damn
 
i miss everyone!!!!!!!!!!!
ok!
 
and yeah promised myself not to be so emo!!!!!!!!!
hehee
i wont wanna be
 
gonna go take my shower
and get changed
so chiao!
February 28

i <3 u

 
 
 
 
='(
felt so hurt deep iniside my heart
dose words that i saw reali broke my heart
how cud u
i noe i cnt give u anything
who am i
yeah i noe u think im giving fake hopes
but hell no!
i am just an ordinary gal hu is nt brave enuff to face the world
but why the issue will always messed us up n ending up with so many understandings
haiz
i reali don't know what to do!
all i do is brood ova it
 be so emo
n shed tears
yes i admit i've neva been in this situation like this b4
n i fear of getting hurt
as the first cut is the deepest
the fact is im just so weak to face it
but afta all this while my feelings grew even stronger evryday
u wont even noe
told my heart to just forget evrything
but i cnt help it esp the words that reali went in so deep
i do seriously love u
i've neva eva in my whole life fallen reali in love with a guy
and he suddenly appeared in my life like from nowhere
and changed it
at times my life was fill wit joyness and at times sadness
all i know is that my feelings for him is truly genuine
tho i know we r so worlds apart
sometimes im so caught up
but to think we r human beings
we come from de same species
so i think ders nth wrong
maybe god created him to be more luckier
bt afta all we cn neva fight fate
so i'l just leave it to fate to decide
if we reali are meant for each other
i know we cn only plan
so i will do whatever it takes to hold on
for this one last chance
bt in the end if it still fail than
i'l just have to take it upon my stride
i guess we are neva meant to be.
 
 
WHEN YOU FOUND THE RIGHT PERSON
 U WANT TO BE WITH
 AND YOUR LIFE,
TAKE THE RISK
NEVER TAKE IT FOR GRANTED
COS WEN U LOSE
THAT PERSON
THE WORLD IS TO BIG
THAT YOU'LL HAFTA SEARCH ALL OVER AGAIN
 
 
so now i've made up my mind that i am taking the risk
if i don't change myself
when will i change
i don't wanna be selfish
i dont wanna think of only my feelings
yeah i noe i cn undastand his situation
it do hurt me seein it
n im sure that our feelings are true
so all i hope is things are gonna be fine for us
and in days to come
cos when u lose the one final chance
it will be over just like that.
 
ok enuff said.
 
work was fine
haha
did laugh while we r doin our work
haha
thanks to saniah for the job tho
did enjoyed
had lunch at simpang bedok wit nyah and her 17 yr old nephew
hahaa
der was cat!
damn
lucky dey did agree to sit inisde
aaha
i ordered nasi ayam
but i onli had half of the plate
i seriously had no appetite to eat
like thinking of what happened ytd nite
n watsmore my heart is not peace when theres cat ard me
so yeah
i tink i made up my mind tat
i shall nt go for a break wit dem
im so sick of seeing foods
n watsmore at least i cn save up money
i think i will bring some foods like breads from 711
so that i could just eat during lunch time and relax there by myself while listening to mp3
 
 
hope later on he would come online
 
for now i just wanna go and rest
as im just so tired